Early is just a word

I rise today at 4:30 and anticipate my first early radiation. Today will be the first attempt to film my own treatment. Shouldn’t be to hard since I have done this for a living the last 30 some years for film and commercials as a location scout/manager and producer. However the last time I was in a room of this sort was when I was invited to shoot an open heart surgery on a four  year girl at a University of Virginia hospital. Now I’m shooting myself ( sounds funny doesn’t it ? )  Life is funny or what sometimes we call ironic. Irony is a fancy word I’m finding out for dualism. Remember, it’s early, very early. The other half of this dualistic morning is we meet with my Radiologist , Dr Nguen. Since  last Tuesday my bone pain and headaches are less but we decided to have more blood tests . I have definitely entered that revered stage of being a science project. More cat scans , mri’s, bone scans, blood tests and x rays than I can remember. Each one prepares me for the next. That period of time that feels like the abyss…. waiting for the dreaded results. Yet like I said they have all prepared me, each time, traveling from fear, apprehension , to  lately, ambivalence . One just becomes drafted , and you soldier on. As my old friend yesterday declared “ you embraced the warrior spirit”. This is after I told him I don’t use the word “ fight”. I’ve been fighting all my life literally and figuratively  and I consciously have separated from that word.

So today my weapons of choice are words, a camera and a tripod.

Adios for now.

Made it to Crane Beach after treatment and it WAS Treatment .