The appearance of Mr. Hyde

Caveat dear reader :  Do not be alarmed, be aware of the many faces of this journey.

“ I’m a man, not a statistic “

It has been said that prostate cancer is a dark and mysterious country. When the side effects  of radiation and chemo are added to this equation it becomes the dark continent, where the challenges of life, death , and even betrayal weave their web to entangle the mind and lead it far off course of ones true destination.
Not so dissimilar to the Siren’s of Odysseus or maybe the transformation to something like … Mr Hyde.
Some truth here, maybe not as sinister.
With Lupron and Casadex they can bring to various degrees mood swings, and depression .
I’d like to say at times clarity, albeit on the negative or dark side. Patience is not a virtue.
Time is no longer meaningful, so you tend to not linger, you see things as they are, at the moment.
This is dicey when it comes to say long time friends or family who for whatever reason demand your compassion,forgiveness and …. time.  A disconnect is happening on both sides. Your realities are much different.  
To digress a moment, when I was eight years old my best friend Eddy lost his dad. Eddy was a real nice kid and had plenty of friends. The day his dad died I don’t know why but I felt compelled to go over and be with him.
I remember that day vividly. I was met by his grieving mom who hugged me and told me how nice it was for me to come over. I went up to my friends room where I found him sitting quietly alone. I touched his shoulder and we sat together in the stillness of grief . Thirty years later I met his mom ( who had ended up marrying my uncle ) by chance.
She told me that Eddy had never forgotten that day. I was the only friend who showed an interest. Yes, we were children and death to kids is a scary thing, but I find now not much has changed, with some.
Funny how when you are diagnosed with aggressive cancer you are confronted with having to be the one that’s empathetic, compassionate and understanding . Certainly not with everyone, but more now than when I was a civilian. Believe me I am grateful for the many friends that I have that Mr. Hyde doesn’t have to meet.