In Praise of Lena the Human Dog

My constant companion, full of love, compassion, unlimited forgiveness and loyalty is now entering her final days. Yes it hurts but I struggle to balance the deep sorrow with the immortal memories .
Lena sleeps with us in our bed now. It allows her to relax in her pain. When my mom came up to our house in her final day, Lena laid with her , comforting her in those final hours. She loved my mom, loved visiting her at the Home of the Good Shepherd. She new exactly which room my mom was in, running down the hall to it each time. Dogs and especially Lena know so much. Intuitive in a way humans are incapable of, and with all the infinite amount of love.
When I was waiting to hear from my urologist / surgeon for the results of my biopsy, Lena would not leave my side. She inherently knew the internal stress and all that came with it was roiling through me in tandem with the waves of fear. She was vigilant , nothing else mattered to her but to be with me.Her energy was calming as with her love. Kristina often called Lena my other wife. When I got out of the hospital the first time after surgery, she slept with us. I had a hard time with the catheter, the pain being excruciating at times. She was a balance that allowed me to rest, never leaving my side even when I would get up to walk my rounds around the house, catheter in one hand and Lena following every painful step. Two days after I was home I was rushed back to the hospital with impacted intestines, a serious and sometimes fatal side effect of the opiates I was given. Lena always came with us, so this time was no different.
My life at that time was revolving around those phone calls, the painful ring, knowing it was my doctor with more “ results”. I can’t think of a time Lena was not by my side, as if saying “ it’s alright, whatever the news I’m with you “..
Of course the news came that the cancer had spread and I needed to go to a comprehensive cancer center asap.
We decided on Dana Farber in Boston because it was the best choice and the American Cancer Society had a facility called Hope Lodge that offered apartments for free close to the hospital. They didn’t accept dogs, unless the dog was a certified service dog. There was no way Lena wasn’t coming with us. So Lena became a certified “emotional service dog”. That was an easy one for her, she was born into that role. Bought her the uniform with “emotional service dog” patches and she was more than happy to go to work. The other cancer patients now were able to get a healthy dose of Lena’s love and compassion. She was a trooper and I know that she would rather have been home in the mountains back at the “ ranch,” but she had a job to do and that was her ethic. She didn’t shy away from that, at all.
After treatment I did the ADK Hike for Hope walk of 140 miles. Kristina and lena walked in the final mile of that hike to meet me. I was sitting on the path, exhausted from the last 24 miles when I saw them coming to me, as if in a dream. It was a cathartic moment, so much seemed to be swirling around. The two beings I loved so much coming to me, being with me and comforting me. Lena’s insistence to be the first to greet me with a kiss and a wag . Her dog smile expressing how happy she was for me..
Now it’s her time. Her life is ebbing and for the very first time she wants to be held. During the day her pain does not allow her to rest, unless she is held by Kristina or me. Then she gently falls asleep on top of one of our bodies, her breathing becomes harmonious with ours. Still, in my deep sorrow for my friend, her physical and spiritual closeness expresses compassion, love and loyalty… to the end.